In need of Motivation

That is me.  I am in desperate need of motivation.

Usually this is the time of year that I am in full planning mode for Calah's birthday party.  I love planning both kids' parties, and in the winter I usually need this party to perk me up and get me going.  But for whatever reason this year, I can't get going.  The bowling alley is booked, but that is it.  I need to get the invitations out yesterday...literally.  I like to have them out two weeks before the party and it is two weeks from today.  So that is late.  I plan to get them out Monday, but I haven't even started making them yet.  And here I sit.  Then there is the rest of the party to plan for (cake, gifts, favors, etc).  Not to mention, every year I make a memory video for each of the kids' birthdays and I haven't even started Calah's yet.  Still, even will all this hanging over my head, I can't seem to get motivated.

This isn't the only area I have been unmotivated in lately, although it is the most urgent.  I have continued to go to the pool and swim, but I'm not pushing myself like I should.  I have good ideas on workouts and then talk myself out of them on the way to the pool.  All I really want to do lately is sleep.  I want to continue the weight loss I have started, I want to push myself, I want to get better and swim faster, but we all know that wanting isn't enough.  I need to do it.  I try to console myself by saying "at least I got in the pool and did something"  or "it is like I ran 4 miles", but if I am going to be honest, that is not enough.  I need to work harder.  I'm just not motivated.

My house is suffering again.  Sure, it's not filthy, but it's cluttered and there are many closets, dressers, and bins that need to be cleaned out.  No motivation.  My mail table stares at me every evening, irritatingly messing.  The movies are a disaster.  The kids' papers from school are in a pile waiting to be sorted.   And yet, I sit here. 

Where did my drive and motivation go?  I know that we are busy all week and need weekends to unwind, but I still need to clean my house and do the laundry.  And get a few other things done, too.  Nothing seems to get me going.  If anyone has any ideas...I'm all ears.  But in the mean time, I think I'll hold the couch down.