Why do we make them grow up so fast?

My sister wrote a really great article this week for her local paper.

http://www.themorningsun.com/articles/2012/01/25/opinion/srv0000017255923.txt

I got me thinking....why do we make our kids grow up so fast?  These days everyone is pushing their kids to act older, be more responsible, and excel at everything they do.  I look at some of the shows that are on today, Dance Moms, Toddlers and Tiaras, and so on (yes, I know that I love Dance Moms...that doesn't make what they do to their kids ok).  What is wrong with just running around outside and acting silly?  What is wrong with playtime instead of all scheduled time?

Yes, my kids have activities that they are involved in.  We have tried to base them on the kids' interests and still leave them lots of playtime.  And we started slow, there was no reason for them to play soccer, basketball, t-ball, take swimming lessons, and dance all at age 3. 

Speaking of slowly, lets start at the beginning of life.......I know that everyone has their own way of raising their babies and whatever works for your family is great.  But, this is my blog, so I am just going to say what we did.  Take it as you will, it worked for us. 

When both Calah and Gabe were babies, we kept them in our room as long as we could.  When they didn't fit in the bassinet anymore, then we moved them to a crib in in their own room.  However, when they woke up in the middle of the night, they ended up in bed with us for the rest of the night.  Yes, we were co-sleeper and both of our children are ok.  Then there was nursing.  I nursed for over a year, and waited until they were six months old to give them anything else.  My kids were slow to walk, both well over a year when they started.  We didn't push them to be potty trained.  Both were 3 before they were trained, even to the point with Gabe that we weren't sure that he was going to be able to go to preschool.  Yes, both kids went to preschool....at 3.  We didn't try to make them go to school early, even attend a daycare that was too structured.  My thoughts were only on play.  That is what I wanted my children to do during the day, play.  They didn't know their alphabet going into preschool.  They knew how to play and use their imagination.  When we selected a preschool, we made sure is was based on the play to learn philosophy.  And my kids were/are totally ready for school. 

When Calah was four, we were at swimming lessons and I was sitting next to a couple of parents.  One was talking about her five year old and their activities...horseback riding, piano lessons, Spanish lessons, swimming lessons, and dance.  She was concerned that her child wasn't reading yet.  She said to me, "You are a teacher, what kinds of things do you do with Calah?  Is she reading yet?"  I was in serious disbelief!  I had not done anything with Calah except let her be a little girl.  And yet, as a second grader she is reading between a fourth and fifth grade level.  I don't think it did her any harm.

Now Gabe was a different story.  We still didn't push the academics on him, but he has had much more structure and time in school because of his speech delay.  But still in his second year of preschool, he is just getting his letters and numbers down....and I couldn't be prouder.

I am proud because my children can play for hours outside in the winter or summer, creating forts and hideouts and fighting bad guys.  I am proud because they can have "meeting" in their room with all their stuffed animals.  I am proud because they can ride in the car for HOURS (like 14 straight) without a television screen or movie.  I am proud because they color pictures and tell stories.  I am proud because they do not need to rely on technology to have a good time.  I am proud because they would rather be doing something than sitting in front of the tv.  I am proud because they love school and can't wait to learn new things.

I will say that we do keep up in the summer.  Calah has a summer program through the Grand Rapids school district that keeps her skills up.  We are part of the summer reading program at the library.  We try to do some fun educational field trips in the summer like nature walks and trips to museums year round.  I want them to think that learning is fun.  Yes, it is nice to be smart, it is smarter to be nice.  I would rather raise a kid that is nice to everyone, than one that is the valedictorian.  Of course if they are both, that would be ok.  :)

And that leads me to extracurriculars....why do we have to start our kids at 3 (or younger) and push them in a very specific direction at such a young age?  Calah got a late start.  We let her try soccer at 5 and waited until 7 to introduce basketball.  By the standards in our small town, she is behind.  But we want her to try things and have fun and figure out what she likes before we pursue it full force.  Again, I would rather raise a well rounded, happy child than one that has been forced down a certain path.

All I'm saying is we don't have to push our children to grow up.  They grow up fast enough as it is.  I miss the days when my baby girl could curl up in my lap.  She still will on occasion, but it isn't her favorite place anymore.  I miss the days when I could rock and snuggle my baby boy until he fell asleep.  Now the only snuggles I get from him are in the morning when he is waking up.  The rest of the day he has one speed....go!  I miss my babies.  They are growing up so fast and every day they can do more and more.  I know they still have a long way to go, but I also know that in a blink of the eye I will be standing at their graduation, their wedding days, and then they will have their own children.  And I hope when they do, they look fondly on their childhood and say, "I'm glad that my mom let us play, I am glad my childhood was happy and full of adventure....even if it was just in my own backyard." 

Because that is what I want for my children.  Not fame, not glory.....just happiness.